Oh, no she didn’t!

15 Jan

My daughter is a fountain of funny kid stuff.

Every evening, my daughter tells me when she would like to wake up. Last Thursday, she told me to wake her at 5 a.m. so that she would be awake by 6 a.m. to study for a test. I have no idea why it takes her an hour to wake up, but it’s her beauty sleep so I go along.

Five a.m. I woke her, saying “Sweetie, it’s 5 o’clock.”

“I’m tired!” she groused.

Five fifteen. “Peanut, it’s time to get up.” Grousing was the reply.

Five thirty. “You told me you wanted to me to wake you at five. It’s five thirty.” Again, grousing.

Five forty five. “Leave me alone!” was the reply.

At six a.m., I told her it was six a.m. and went downstairs to make my tea, telling her I was going downstairs to make my tea. I left her grousing self to get dressed.

At seven a.m., I came up stairs. (Even at seven, she had plenty of time to study.) I was greeted like this:

“IT’S SEVEN O’CLOCK!! I’M GOING TO FAIL MY TEST!!! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WAKE ME UP!”

“Sweetie, I tried waking you up for an hour.”

‘NO, YOU DIDN’T!!! A NORMAL MOM WOULD HAVE GOTTEN ME OUT OF BED!!!!”

Confused, I said, “What was I supposed to do that I didn’t do? I tried to wake you up and you kept telling me you were too tired.”

“If you were a regular mom,” she said, “you would have said, ‘GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED!’ ”

 

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15 Responses to “Oh, no she didn’t!”

  1. largerthanlifeblog January 15, 2013 at 10:00 am #

    Enjoyed 🙂

  2. Snark Diva January 15, 2013 at 12:07 pm #

    Story of my life, except mine is 21 years old now so you can imagine how long this has been going on. I have finally resorted to telling her that I am not her alarm clock and it is her responsibility to get up when she needs to get up. It’s still my fault.

    • jmlindy422 January 18, 2013 at 3:19 pm #

      I feel so fortunate with the boy; he gets himself up at 5:30 every school day. He’s in the shower before his dad.

  3. Ruby Tuesday January 15, 2013 at 3:46 pm #

    Oh my gosh, hilarious! She sounds about as easy to wake up as I used to be, though with me it was generally because I had stayed up until four a.m. studying.

    But I wouldn’t have expected that from a “normal” mom. I’m not up on TV these days — like at all — but it sounds like what “Roseanne” would be if it aired now!

    • jmlindy422 January 18, 2013 at 12:31 pm #

      This morning I tried the “nasty mom” approach and damn if it didn’t work! But I felt like an ass doing it. I said, “Good bye, honey bunny” to her this morning and she said, “I’m not a bunny.” I’m betting she wouldn’t complain if I called her “Your Highness.”

  4. Madame Weebles January 15, 2013 at 4:41 pm #

    And if you HAD said, “Get your ass out of bed” she would have found something else clever to say. She’s too funny.

    • jmlindy422 January 18, 2013 at 3:20 pm #

      She is pretty funny and it’s fun watching her change from the little girl who was so shy she hid behind my skirts to a sassy mouthed tween.

  5. Mary Rayis January 15, 2013 at 6:44 pm #

    Priceless!

  6. twistingthreads January 16, 2013 at 4:14 am #

    My mother was the coaxing kind, my father the kind who thundered into the room, singing “Get up, get up, get out of bed…you sleepy head,” turning on all the lights, ripping the covers off, and announcing at 7AM that the day was half over. I preferred my mother’s approach (although both were effective), especially when it involved soft whispering to my pet bunny, which woke me to the point that I didn’t freak out and accidentally swat him when he started hopping on me. Ah, bunny paws…

    Your daughter is more dedicated than I ever was, but I pop out of bed much more readily now that someone else is depending on me, instead of me depending on them.

    • jmlindy422 January 18, 2013 at 3:21 pm #

      Oh, I know that “gotta get up ’cause the kid got up” thing. And, the “gotta get up or I’ll have a dog crate full of poop to clean up” thing.

  7. philosophermouseofthehedge January 16, 2013 at 12:24 pm #

    Oh, so familiar – snorting with laughter over “a normal mom” and “regular mom”…especially because if you follow those rules, you’ll only discover the quick sand changes …just can’t win…might as well laugh! (more volcano than “fountain of funny” at this age?)

    • jmlindy422 January 18, 2013 at 3:21 pm #

      Yes, she is rather more like a volcano!

  8. Brother Jon January 18, 2013 at 1:59 pm #

    I do believe my mom may have said that to me a few times….even after I graduated high school.

    • jmlindy422 January 18, 2013 at 3:22 pm #

      My dad regularly flung my bedroom door open and said, “Get the hell out of bed!”

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