A month of many moustaches

5 Nov

I’m torn. November used to just be the month of turkey, cranberries and raking leaves. Now, though, November seems to have developed a split personality and both of those personalities are calling me.

November is National Adoption Month.  My family was built through adoption; many of you know I’ve written about the idiotic things people say about adoption and adoptees. I promise I’ll write more about adoption this month, and not everything will be snide. Really. I can do it. You’ll just have to trust me.

November is also Movember, a month devoted to raising awareness of prostate cancer and male mental health issues. I have my own mental health issues to deal with, so I’ll stick to prostate cancer for this post.

I first heard of Movember through a magnificent™ Canadian blogger, Le Clown. “Movember” combines the words moustache and November, because participants raise awareness of prostate cancer by growing moustaches.

Because I learned of Movember through a Canadian, I assumed it was started by Canadians. Turns out Movember is an Australian brainchild. Now, though, Movember is a worldwide movement. While I don’t have a prostate, I do have a few men in my life, including my husband.

Like all cancers, prostate cancer is best treated in the early stages, but prostate cancer screening is controversial. My husband’s doctor uses PSA tests; your doctor might not. I asked my husband about his adventures in prostate cancer screening solely as an example.

Me: Why did you have to have that biopsy of your prostate?

Him: Because my PSA was high.

Me: That’s all?

Him: No, my prostate was enlarged . . .

Me:  He knew that from, you know, sticking his finger . . .

Him: Yes! God! Stop!

Me: Ok, so ewwwww. That’s all? He just put his finger in and knew?

Him: Will you stop!? No! I couldn’t pee.

Me: What do you mean you couldn’t pee? I hear you pee in the middle of the night all the time. Are you saying you sleep pee?

Him: No, but you might have noticed peeing takes about a week. Since drinking water is also recommended for my health, each glass of water extends my time in the bathroom by another day. (He does, indeed, take an inordinate amount of time peeing.)

Me: Ok. So you needed the biopsy. What was that like?

Him: It was like someone put a tiny AK47 in me and sprayed the inside of my ass with bullets.

Me: (hysterical laughing) Ok. Did you have to ask for the screening?

Him: No. It was just part of my yearly exam.

All with my husband’s end ended well but he and I have reached the age when humiliating exams need to be undertaken on a yearly basis. He gets a finger in his butt and I get a mammogram. I try to convince him that having your boobs squashed flat in three different positions on both sides is far more of a trial than having one itty bitty finger inserted in his down there. He’s not buying it.

There are many ways to make a statement this Movember:

•  grow a mustache and let everyone know why

•  donate to Movember or your favorite cancer foundation

and, if you have a prostate,

•  talk to your doctor about prostate cancer screening.


2 Responses to “A month of many moustaches”

  1. SocietyRed November 5, 2012 at 5:01 pm #

    Good post Snidely. My wife tells me the boob squish is uncomfortable as well. But like the finger up the butt, if there’s a way to detect cancer early, why the hell wouldn’t you do it? I hope I never have to have the AK47 treatment but if I ever do, know that I will be thinking of YOU that day.

    • bobbi November 7, 2012 at 5:05 am #

      Now I know why I saw two ladies wearing mustaches at the art fair I went to last Friday!

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