My kids say funny stuff, too 3

11 Sep

I live with food heathens. While I will eat, and enjoy, pretty much anything (except liver), they are happy to subsist on chips, cheese and bacon. These are three of my favorite food groups, but I occasionally like to eat as if my heart mattered to me. Unfortunately, many of the things that only I will eat come in a package designed for a family of vegans, or, as my son might say, “A family of losers.” Hence, the following scenario is all too common.

Me (clearing out the fridge, flinging half-eaten containers of healthful foods in the nearby trash): Agh! Why don’t they make these in smaller containers? I’m so sick of throwing away hummus!

My husband: Oh, Bah Hummus!

Me, after several seconds of glaring at him: Oh, my god. You didn’t just say that. Daughter, come shoot your daddy in the head.

Daughter (whining): But then I’d have to go to juvie!

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14 Responses to “My kids say funny stuff, too 3”

  1. sukanya September 11, 2012 at 10:21 am #

    Smart gal…she is fully aware of the consequences:-)

    • jmlindy422 September 11, 2012 at 11:03 am #

      I think my son is hilarious, but my husband keeps pointing out how funny our daughter is. I gotta say, she’s put out more blog fodder in the last week than he has! I’ve got another one from her for next week. “Going to juvie” is a family catch phrase now.

  2. The Waiting September 11, 2012 at 10:37 am #

    LOL! Smart gal!

    • jmlindy422 September 11, 2012 at 11:04 am #

      I know! I can agree ’cause she was adopted and it doesn’t look like I’m patting myself on the back if I shout about how great she is!

  3. Madame Weebles September 11, 2012 at 10:52 am #

    I’m not sure which comment is the funniest: your husband’s play on Bah, Humbug, your asking your daughter to shoot daddy in the head, or your daughter’s comment about going to juvie. They’re all so clever.

    • jmlindy422 September 11, 2012 at 11:03 am #

      Yes, that’s us, The McClevers! Thanks, Weebs!

  4. todadwithlove September 11, 2012 at 5:53 pm #

    Wish I were the fly on your kitchen wall, even though I absolutely abhor flies. But perhaps a laughing fly is not that bad.

    • jmlindy422 September 11, 2012 at 8:34 pm #

      You may have been here recently. We’ve got some sort of tiny fly that moves in an out of the house as the dog goes in and out…it’s not fleas, either. I haven’t heard any of them laughing, though.

      • todadwithlove September 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm #

        Oh, they are just messengers who have not yet acquired a sense of humour.

  5. nevercontrary September 11, 2012 at 7:32 pm #

    Too funny!

  6. Mad Queen Linda September 12, 2012 at 2:20 pm #

    Nobody can tell me we haven’t advanced light years since Leave it to Beaver. Nobody.

  7. Mary Rayis September 13, 2012 at 1:26 pm #

    I love your versions of “Kids Say the Darndest Things.” As for the hummus, I’d gladly share it with you if I lived in your household.

    • jmlindy422 September 14, 2012 at 12:24 pm #

      We need to live closer to each other. I’ll make you laugh and you can share my hummus.

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